I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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