You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My underwear smells like fireworks.
even my farts smell like vagina
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
