i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
