how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
