I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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