John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
