i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
