I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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