I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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