I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
