Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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