Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
