Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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