I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Quick, to the slutcave!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize