Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize