I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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