You really coming over, don't trick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
