I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
