We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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