i would punch a child for taco bell
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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