Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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