My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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