You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
