I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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