That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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