I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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