At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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