Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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