you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
