david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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