I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You need a sexual gate keeper
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My bed smells like the plague
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
