Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
