Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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