How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
