I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
