I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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