I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
