the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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