He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
