If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
