I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will be naked everywhere
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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