i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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