Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ugly people sure do ruin things
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
