To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
