I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish you could order shots online.
it's great music for shaving your balls
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
