There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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