kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize