call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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