I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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