My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
