My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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