she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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