is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
