They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
vagina is talking i cant
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
