I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize