doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I enjoy the company of your penis
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
