my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
