I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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