You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
