I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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