I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
