I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize