he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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